why halloween is scary

It's Halloween. I've been preparing all weekend to make it through this very scary night. I'm not going to a Haunted House or any scary Halloween parties. I have midterms tonight. Not one, but two. Boo...

poor little computer

It seems my computer has not adjusted nearly as easily to New York City as I have. Shortly after arriving here, I began to notice some problems. The main one being that my computer shuts itself off. It's as if it just says, "I'm too tired to keep working. I give up." And then nothing.
I've been trying to ignore the fact that my computer, is indeed, sick. I keep hoping for a miraculous recovery. But things have only gone from bad to worse. Today the computer shut itself off after less than an hour of being on. It shut down while I was typing a blog about pumpkins. That was the final straw. I might lose an email or two, but you don't mess with me and my pumpkin agenda. I called the local computer doctor- the free one at my fancy grad school. No answer. So while in the computer lab typing summaries for class, I made an appointment. Until Saturday morning, I am computer-less in my room. No email, no blogs, no music.
Don't worry about me if you don't hear from me. It's not me in a funk. It's my computer.

why I'm in a funk

New York Weather

It's cold. It's rainy. It's also windy. The wind is what woke me up this morning. I don't feel like going anywhere until my class tonight. I probably won't. I'll stay in my room, drinking my coffee. Listening to the rain and the wind. I might get back in bed and take a nap. Hopefully, I'll do some reading for school. Maybe I'll watch a movie. But I won't be going anywhere outside. Too rainy. Too cold. Too windy.

too much- but worth it

Friday night was my low-key night. It involved happy hour as usual. Followed by big slice pizza and Crema Lita ice-cream. I was home by 8:30. I had planned to do some school work. I read a little, but mostly I watched bad Friday night TV. I miss TGIF days on ABC. I was asleep at an alarmingly early time on a Friday night. But I had work at 9am the next morning.
Saturday I worked from 9-1. By 2 I was in the computer lab to work on a paper due Monday. I took a break at 3:30 to go home and watch the UT/Tech game. By halftime, it was clear Texas was going to win so I decided to use my time wisely and headed back to the computer lab for more paper writing. Luckily I was able to check the score of the game via ESPN Live online. After I had made sufficient, though perhaps not quality, progress on my paper I decided to quit for the day. I headed back to my room to get ready for a night out.
I went out with my suitemate to a going away party for her British friend. We quickly changed plans to travel to the lower eastside via subway when we saw the pouring rain. Instead we took a taxi. It cost 10 times the amount we would have paid taking the subway.
First it was drinks in a bar, then to sing karaoke. It was a lot of fun. 4 o'clock in the morning fun. I do love me some karaoke. Especially when I get to sing my classic, I will survive. I also sang These boots were made for walking. An appropriate song given my cowboy boots- again worn with a skirt. Many more songs were sang until the wee hours of this morning.
Surprisingly I woke up relatively early. I knew I had a lot of work to do. Today was filled with reading, writing and laundry. I also had a study group and a group project meeting about a presentation for tomorrow's class. I'm exhausted. But if I can just make it through tomorrow evening, then I can finally take time to rest. At least for one day. Then it will be time to gear up for midterms. But don't worry. I still plan to have a little bit of fun next weekend. Who says school is all about the classes?

when we can't go back to the future

Remember on Back to the Future where going back to the past and changing even one small event set a new course for the future? It makes me wish we could really experience time travel. Sometimes I have moments that I wish I could change.
I hate regret. Examining what I should have said or what I should have done. Knowing that if I could relive the moment, things would be different. But I can't go back to change the future. Instead, I have to hope that things really do happen for a reason. Perhaps fate really does exist. And if not, live and learn.

tickets

Today I bought my plane ticket home for Christmas. I love buying plane tickets. The thought of traveling somewhere is exciting. But as much as I love buying tickets to travel to new or exotic places, it doesn't beat the thrill of buying a ticket to go home for the holidays.

no need to argue

For a long time, my favorite group was The Cranberries. I've got all their CDs. Even Bury the Hatchet which didn't get much attention, though I think it's pretty good.
This morning I am listening to The Cranberries. It's weird the way it seems to send me back to my high school days, invoking specific memories. Sometimes it's good to visit the past.

hello pot, this is kettle

I love the fact that through email and cell phones I can stay connected to the people who are far away from me (and the ones who are close, too). But because communication is so easy, I am disappointed, hurt and/or frustrated when the lines seem to be broken. I don't hear from people. I know they might be busy, but I'm busy, too. Shouldn't we make time for each other if we really do care about each other? We've all been in relationships where we feel we are the ones doingall the work to maintain the connection. It starts to be tiring. We adopt the attitude, "I wrote last" or "it's not my turn to call".
I have these attitudes about a handful of people. But then I stop and wonder, how many people feel this same way about me? Yes, there are the people I've emailed who haven't responded. But who has written me, and I've failed to write back? Or worse, who have I failed to stay connected to at all? How many friends have been disappointed, hurt or frustrated because I just can't seem to give them my time?
Makes me think I should stop worrying about who is not writing me and start focusing on doing my part in maintaining my friendships with all the wonderful people who supported my decision to move far away from them.

cam confesion #13

I've been holding on to my Texas roots through college football.

For the first time on this blog, I've admitted that I'm from Texas. It's not that I'm ashamed, but I'm losing more of my anonymity by revealing this detail. Although I'm not sure it matters too much since the people who read my blog are usually people who know who I am.
Being a Texan in New York City, I feel I have to overcome certain sterotypes. No, I did not grow up on a farm or ride a horse to school. I try to hide any and all traces of twang or accent. And I never say ya'll. I've tried to develop a New York attitude without adopting the angry New Yorker stereotype that doesn't really exist. Apart from being called 'Tex', a nickname that I really like, I could easily be from anywhere.
Thanks to movies like Varsity Blues and Friday Night Lights, a common stereotype of Texas is that we are all crazy, obsessed football fanatics. I have to admit, it's one that even I believe. I grew up with at least one TV in the house playing a football game. After eating too much at Thanksgiving, we'd all lie around napping with the Cowboys game playing in the background. The next day we'd gather around to eat more and then watch the UT/A&M game. And of course, the week before and after New Year's was filled with bowl games.
I kind of took it all in, but never really paid attention to any of it. Until I moved here. Then I found myself adopting the UT Longhorns and trying to watch every game. I started watching ESPN GameDay. I download the scores from ESPN onto my phone. I find myself talking football to guys, and I actually sound like I know what I'm talking about. I've become the crazy, football-obsessed Texan.

cork and bottle

Over the years, I have developed a deep appreciation for wine. I grew up witnessing an attitude that White Zinfandel is good wine. Luckily, I've learned better and so have the ones setting that precedent. I started with white wine. I drank Reisling. Looking back, it seems just a step up from White Zinfandel, but a very important step. I switched to Chardonnay, then Pinot Grigio. Eventually, most white wines seemed to sweet for me.
I'm a red wine sort of girl. I like Merlot, Cabernet, Red Zinfandel and Shiraz. I even like just table red wine. As I type this, I'm enjoying a glass of Chianti. As a result of my wine attitude, I've developed a reputation. My friends actually belive that I know something about wines and leave me in charge of buying wines for our picnics under stars or fancy dinners at fancy restaurants. The truth is I've still got a lot to learn. If it means learning by drinking, I guess I'll just have to do it. In the meantime, I'll bluff my way through and act like a wine snob who knows something about wine.
This brings me to my point. I've been resisting the change. If you don't drink wine, then you might not know that some bottles no longer have a cork, but instead a screw off top. Um, no. Wine bottles should have corks. Not a twist off lid. If I wanted to twist the top off my drink, I would drink a beer. Or a wine cooler.
It gets worse. Even if you don't like wine, you know that boxed wine has a reputation. People who drink boxed wine have a reputation. And not a good one. But could this be changing? I received an email today from a friend. It contained a link to a news article saying that according a marketing survey, more and more wine drinkers are preferring wine in a box. This was very upsetting to me. Wine? In a box? First the cork and now the bottle.
I better enjoy my bottle of wine while I still can. I think I'll take out the cork and pour myself another glass now.

she works hard for the money

On this rainy New York Thursday, I spent the day working.
Today was my babysitting day. However, the kids were off from school because unlike the schools I went to at their age, the schools here get Jewish holidays off. The parents had to work on Yom Kippur, so the kids needed someone to stay with them all day. So I arrived this morning at 9am, my coffee and umbrella in hand. I was ready to work.
The first part of the morning was spent playing scrabble with kid A, while kid G read. When kid A was bored with scrabble and hungry for lunch, we decided to begin our adventure in the city. We walked to the corner pizza shop for lunch. As kids raced around the restaurant screaming and making a scene, I was thankful that I was with such well-behaved children. After lunch we took a bus to the East Side. I was finally going to the Met. I had planned to do a scavenger-hunt, an idea given to me by nyc julie. I bought postcards of popular paintings and challenged the kids to look for the matches. They divided the postcards and began the hunt. Kid A found 3 out of her 4 pretty quickly. Kid G knew he didn't have a chance since we were in the European section and 2 of his were American paintings. The game died quickly and their interest in the museum did, too. On their part, not mine. I have only been to the Met once and that was in 1997. These kids go several times a year. It was nothing new...until we ended up in the modern art section. The bright colors seemed to catch their attention, and a helpful Museum guard pointed out interesting aspects of the art in the area. Although I would have loved to wander more through the galleries, I knew I couldn't. I'll go back another time.
We hailed a cab back to the Upper West Side. We stopped in the local mom-and-pop deli where the kids got their afternoon snack, and I got an afternoon coffee. Then it was back to the apartment to spend the rest of the rainy afternoon. Kid A and I played trouble while Kid G read more of his book. Kid G loves to read more than any kid I know. After Kid G had finished his homework, the three of us set up Monopoly- a game sure to consume much of the rest of the afternoon. Under any other circumstances, Monopoly would have been a fun game that takes hours to finish. All of us have been shut indoors all week due to rain. I could tell they were starting to feel restless. We finally just ended the game.
Kid G went back to his book, Kid A played with her dolls, and I started dinner. I made pad thai for Kid A and me, Ramen noodles for Kid G. When their dad arrived home at 7pm, the kids were fed, dishes put away, and a good day had been had by all.
It was the best 10 hours I've ever spent with kids. We played games, got pizza, went to a museum, listened to music. These kids like the same music as me. They are the coolest 8 and 9 year olds I've ever met, and I get paid to hang out with them. It was a great way to spend a rainy day in New York City.

rain update

It's still raining. It's also gotten colder. Today my mood seemed to match the weather. My usually sunny disposition was overshadowed by how miserable the rain was making me feel- physically and emotionally.
HOWEVER, tonight after my class I went and bought rain boots. This makes me happy for two reasons.
1. My feet will finally stay dry even when I have to walk outside in the rain. Living in New York means I have to walk outside in the rain if I want to do anything outside of the school campus.
2. The boots are cute- brown plaid with a touch of pink. I wore my cowboy boots with a skirt. Next it will be my rain boots.
These boots were made for walking... in the rain.

plink, plink, plink

A few nights ago I was watching TV late night, and I saw Austin City Limits with Jack Johnson. I recognized the first few songs that he played. Then he switched instruments and began a new song. He was playing a ukelele. Now this is in an instrument that really doesn't get played often enough. Perhaps it is because when you play it, you really just look like you are playing on a toy guitar.
Last year for my birthday the Tyrant gave me two birthday cards. One of them had a hawiian girl on the front playing a ukelele. Underneath the picture said "plink, plink, plink". On the inside said, "this is the start of your birthday ukelele song." Thinking of this card always makes me laugh. Thinking of this card makes me think of my good friend who gave it to me. Thinking of my friend makes me smile. So right now I'm laughing and smiling. And also missing the Tyrant.
I love ukeleles- and the Tyrant.
plink, plink, plink

*try saying 'plink, plink, plink' out loud. it will make you smile- and maybe even laugh

rainy day in New York

I've got my window open and I'm listening to the rain. It seems to mask all the usual noises of the city, though I can still hear the occasional bus passing by. At this moment, the rain seems soothing and romantic.
This morning as I walked to work in the rain, I wasn't so idealistic about a rainy day. By the time, I reached the building my shoes and socks were soaking wet. I spent most of my day with squishy, wet feet. I think I might look into some better rainy day shoes for walking in New York. The forecast predicts more rain. I don't want 2 more days of squishy, wet feet.

it's friday... now what?

Since moving to New York City, I find that I try to fill all my free time with new and exciting adventures. Each weekend, I go out exploring new parts of the city and doing new things. Tonight I had no such plans. I went to happy hour as usual. I had dinner at Tom's Restaurant (the Seinfeld diner...I guess that counts as at least a unique dinner experience). Then I went home- at 8 o'clock on a Friday night. I read an article for a class, then quit attempts to read another after falling asleep. It's now 9:30, and I'm considering going to bed.
For someone who lives in a city that never sleeps, that's all I feel like doing right now.

playing the role of tourist

One of the best things about having people visit you is that you get to do all the tourist type things that you don't think to do on your own. Today a.m. and I decided to ride ferry over to Staten Island. We took the subway all the way to the tip of Manhattan, got on the Staten Island Ferry, rode it to the island, exited the boat, then reboarded the boat via the terminal and rode the ferry back to Manhattan. The first part of the trip wasn't too exciting. I mostly saw Brooklyn and some boats and industrial areas. The second part of the trip we were on the side of the boat that offered a nearby view of the Statue of Liberty. It was much more exciting. The best part of the trip was that I can now say I've been to all 5 boroughs of New York: Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island.
Once back at the Manhattan terminal, we caught a northbound subway up to meet nyc julie for lunch. She took us to the sandwich shop voted best in the city. It was pretty tasty. We took our lunch over to Washington Square park where we ate by the fountain. It was a perfect day for lunching outdoors.
We walked nyc julie back to her office, then a.m. and I went to explore Chinatown. In some ways, it's not too different from other areas of New York. They have a Starbucks and McDonald's and banks. The difference is that all these places have Chinese lettering above the English. After buying bubble tea, we continued wandering until we found ourselves in Little Italy. We passed restaurant after restaurant offering "the best Italian food" in the city. Another turn on another street and we were back in Chinatown. The fine dining restaurants were replaced with open-front stores selling raw fish and produce. Sadly, it was time to find the nearest subway station and head uptown so a.m. could catch the bus back to the airport.
It's sad to say good-bye to another friend just in town for a short visit. But it was fun to see her and go around the city experiencing new things together. I'm looking forward to hanging out with more people who come to visit the city and me- like my cousin m.a. who will be here this weekend.

home of the hotdog

Today I went with friend a.m. to Coney Island. She suggested we go to the birthplace of the hotdog to get a hotdog. So that's what we did. This morning we took the subway from my school to Times Square then transferred to a Brooklyn bound subway that would take us all the way to Coney Island.
The whole trip took just over an hour- plenty of time for me to do my reading for tonight's class. We arrived just in time for lunch. We exited the subway station and were directly in front of Nathan's Famous. We sat outside in the sunshine enjoying our hotdogs and cheese fries. Afterwards we strolled along the boardwalk. After being in the city so long, it was a nice change of scenery to see a beach and body of water and some open space.
I was happy to visit Coney Island during the off-season on a weekday. It lacked the usual crowds of people. Another nice break from city life. I'm sure I'll go back the next time I want to escape the city. Even if Coney Island isn't really an island at all. The real island, ironically, is Manhattan. The busy city I'm happy to call home.

the arts of living in New York

My friend, nyc julie, often sends me emails of events and shows happening around the city. Trying to be mindful of taking advantage of as many opportunities as possible, I join her when my classes or my budget don't interfere. Saturday night, I had the chance to join nyc julie along with several other friends to see the performance, Christina Olson: American Model. Claire Danes was the solo dancer who depicted the girl in Andrew Wyeth's painting.
Christina Olson lived her life in defiance of muscular degeneration that paralyzed her legs and weakened her arms. She refused to use wheel-chairs instead using her limited body movements and strength to move around. Through dance, Claire Danes demonstrates the inner and outer struggle Christina Olson endured. This was my first time to attend a modern dance performance. It was a pretty amazing experience.
We continued the New York experience by getting Thai food for dinner after the show, followed by drinks over in the West Village with nyc julie's roommates and friends.
The next morning we woke up way too early after being out way too late. But friend a.m. said we needed to be in the ticket line early to get our discount broadway tickets. So at 11, friend a.m., her Boston friend, and I were on our way to Times Square. I was finally going to my first Broadway show since moving to the city. By 11:30 we were in line, and by noon we had tickets to see Sweet Charity.
As we waited for our 2:00 show, we went to Brunch at a nearby Italian Restaurant. Then it was nearly show time. Our seats were lower level- close, but not too close. I loved everything about the show. The story line, the costumes, the music, the dancing, and most especially Christina Appelgate. I loved Sweet Charity!
A.M. and I said good-bye to her friend who had joined us from Boston, then nyc julie met us for dinner. We continued experiencing new things- we went to dinner at an African restaurant. Eaten with our hands using very unusual/different bread to pick up and scoop up the lamb and chickpea sauce, the food and the experience were equally great.
On a whole the weekend was full of cultural experiences from theaters to restaurants, and life in between.

view of the city

Saturday I took a bus to pick up my friend a.m. at the airport. I've made this trip once before, so knowing that it takes nearly an hour, I brought along some reading. However, as we crossed the bridge out of Manhattan, I looked up just in time to see the New York skyline. The truth is, I think it will never stop being a thrill. To see the city, and know "I live there."