a very beautiful day, indeed

While most of my friends in Texas have been enjoying spring weather since January, I've only had 2 days of spring weather this month. But this week there has been a change in the air. I think we might be entering a season of spring. I've put all my winter sweaters away, replacing them with my tanks and sandals.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. At 68 degrees the weather was perfect. Students were lounging all across the quad, taking time to enjoy the warm, sunny day. Everyone wanted to be outside- including the kids I babysit on Thursdays. So G put his rollerblades on and A got her jump rope, and we all headed outside.
There was a lot of activity going on just beyond their stoop and none of it related to the spring weather. Trucks lined the streets, a tent was put up over a table covered with food and coffee, a platform had been constructed on the side of a building. This was the site of a movie production. In fact, it was the second movie site I had passed this week. On Tuesday as I walked through the production set-up, I searched for famous people but saw none. I was hopeful that maybe I would this time. There were lots of people walking around with walkie-talkies, but they were all behind the scenes type of people. Where were the ones who would be in front of the camera?
I tried to watch everything without looking obvious. I played jump rope with A and watched G's rollerblading skills. As I sat on the bench, I saw a man crossing the street towards me. I thought to myself, "That looks like Hugh Grant. That looks like Hugh Grant." Then as he passed less than a few feet away from me, I could very clearly hear his well-known British accent. Hugh Grant had just walked right by me! As I said, it was a very beautiful day, indeed.
Listening and paying attention not only allowed me to see Hugh Grant, but I also learned that the name of the movie is Music and Lyrics, the co-star is Drew Barrymore, and the producer of this film is Marc Lawrence who also did Miss Congeniality and Two Weeks Notice and who just happens to be a good friend of the kids' dad.
I'm going to babysit again today. Once again it is a beautiful day. It is the kick-off to my birthday weekend extravaganza. I think that seeing Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore would really be a very happy birthday to me.

the "stop time" button

I have a class this semester in which time seems to actually slow down making the experience of being there nearly painful. I've taken two other classes with this professor which were not nearly as dull which leads me to believe it isn't him, just the content. But I swear, I go to that class and time just stops. It is the longest hour and forty minutes. Ever. I think the class must have some sort of "stop time" button. This device makes each minute feel like an hour. You look at your watch hoping ten minutes have passed and discover it has only been two minutes since you last looked at your watch.
When I was in high school, I took a pre-cal class in which the "stop time" button existed. It was the last class of the day. We would go in and know that this would be the longest hour and a half. Ever. In this case, we believed the "stop time" button was connected to the teacher's book. As soon as she opened it, time would seem to stop. Class just went on and on, never ending. But the minute she closed the book, time would suddenly return to normal speed and a few minutes later the bell would ring.
I think the "stop time" button now is when the professor begins his lecture. We all sit back and prepare for collective agony and boredom. The worst part is that I have to take the second part of this class in summer school twice a week, two hours and twenty minutes. I can only imagine how slow that class will seem.

Lost and Found

Although I still managed to have fun this weekend, my Sunday was spent working on a paper due today. I woke up still feeling some of the previous night's fun and hearing a cleaning crew bang into my suite. They began their deep-cleaning task at 10am. After stopping for a bagel and coffee, I was in the library by 10:30am. By 11:30am I was actually working on my paper.
I wrote steadily throughout the day only taking breaks to email. I admit, I did send a lot of emails. But I also got the bulk of my paper written. At 5:30pm my eyes were beginning to blur and my fingers were tired of typing. I decided I need a break and dinner. I had most of my paper finished. I estimated that I would easily be able to finish in the morning, edit, then print. Afterwards I would hit the gym, then go to the grocery store. It was a great plan.
It was a great plan. However, when I got to the library this morning I couldn't retrieve my paper. I had saved it on a disk. Trust me, after a mishap or two in high school, then college, I've learned to religiously save. I tried one computer. The file wouldn't open. I tried another. Still no luck. I tried opening another file. Yes, that one opened. But the file I needed to open, the paper that was due today, it wouldn't open. 6 hours, 7 pages that I couldn't open.
I sent emails to friends forewarning them that I was very stressed by the fact that I could not find my entire Sunday's work. It was an outlet to prevent me from completely losing it in the library. I asked the front desk for help. The tech guy suggested I check out a laptop, then try to retrieve it from the external floppy disk drive. That didn't work. Then he suggested I go to the computer I was working on yesterday to see if I could find the file. After all, maybe I had somehow accidentally saved it elsewhere. So after asking the girl working there if I could check my disk, we began looking. When she realized we would be taking a while, she moved her pile of books taller than me, the stacks of files covering the floor. But she didn't complain. I think she saw me on the edge of a break-down.
Finally the tech guy gave up. There was nothing to be done. I fought back tears, returned the laptop, gathered my stuff and headed to see my last hope. There is a computer doctor at my school. I've taken my own laptop to him. I've seen his work. I know he is good. Granted my computer still has problems, but I blame the computer. The computer doctor wasn't in. I chose the computer terminal closest to his office and waited. Finally at 10:20am he arrived. He walked into his office and closed the door. So I continued to wait patiently. Finally 10 minutes later he came out. I approached him and asked if he might see if he could find and retrieve the file from my disk. He said he was too busy. I did not cry. I told him that I really needed that paper because it was due today and would he be available to help me later. He told me to come back at 12:30. I must have looked very upset because he changed his mind and told me 11:30.
I went back to the computer and continued working on my paper. I had been working on the last part I needed to finish. Then I began rewriting the sections I had already done yesterday. If the paper couldn't be retrieved, I would have a long day of rewriting ahead of me.
He called me into his office at 11:30. He began doing many computery things. Each attempt to open the file seemed to fail. I seemed to be holding my breath. What would I do if he told me there was no hope? If I had to start writing my paper again? He continued to work. He ran scans, moved files, more scans. Then it was time to try again. I watched as he clicked. I watched as Word opened. I nearly cried.
There were the words I had written yesterday. All 7 pages. The computer doctor who had previously been abrupt with me, smiled. He told me it was because I knew he was the only one who would be able to do it. I'm not sure if the recovered paper was due to the computer doctor or the many prayers I was saying or both, but it was lost and now it is found.

cam's dating epiphany: when it's not enough

I recently ended a relationship with a guy I really liked. I have no idea why I even liked him other than the fact that I had fun with him. We were about as opposite as you could be, with very little in common except for Syracuse basketball and Grey's Anatomy. For a variety of reasons I preferred to ignore, it probably would have never worked. But I couldn't get beyond the simple fact that I liked him. And that was enough... or so I thought.
All along I thought I was just looking for someone to date now. My dating philosophy was built on just dating someone I like without worrying about anything serious. Turns out, that while I still want someone to date now, I want that someone to at least have the potential to become more. I'm a little shocked by this realization. For some reason, with this guy, I finally stopped being scared of all things relationship-y.
I am disappointed we weren't at the same place in life. Perhaps I should learn a lesson about dating younger men. Or guys who just want to have fun and believe meeting up is dating.
But it was good for me. I can still look for someone to date now, but I won't settle. Because I know that one day, I might actually want that guy to be more.
Maybe...

A Very Long Spring Break

Each March, I rediscover one of the great things about our education system regardless of whether you are a student or a teacher- Spring Break. Last year, as a teacher, I spent my Spring Break working in a fancy law office where I was very busy and important. This year, as a student, I spent my Spring Break entertaining friends and family in New York City.

I began enjoying my Spring Break at 9:00pm Wednesday night. I took my Regression midterm, went and bought some beer, then began Spring Break. I was excited to have Spring weather all during C.T.'s visit. With all the walking we did, at least we did it in beautiful spring weather. We did a LOT of walking. My legs were sore for two days afterwards. On Tuesday I couldn't even take the stairs up to my room- and I live on the third floor.
Luckily I spent the middle part of my Spring Break with my grandparents. They naturally go at a slower pace so my legs were able to recover. Since they had already been to New York City, I didn't feel the need to take them around to see all the sights. Mostly we enjoyed visiting, dining out, and seeing Broadway shows. We saw two Broadway shows while they were here, which was a real treat since I can't afford to see one. Tuesday night we saw Barefoot in the Park and Wednesday night we saw The Light in the Piazza at Lincoln Center. The Spring weather I had enjoyed with C.T. had vanished, giving way to a return to winter. But we all bundled up and still managed not to get blown away by the strong gusts of wind.
Yesterday began the final part of my Spring Break. It is just me. I enjoyed spending the day alone. I did go babysit in the afternoon. It was just boy G and me. He rollerbladed and I rode his scooter. Yes, that's right. I was scootering along Broadway- in front of people. I can only imagine how it looked. Especially when the wheel got caught in a crack and I nearly flipped over the handle bars. But, I admit, it was fun.
Today I'm deciding whether or not to attend the St. Patrick's Day parade. Right now my coffee and my pajama pants are winning. I just don't know if I want to leave my room to go watch it. I'm pretty sure I can find it on TV. I've got 3 days of Spring Break left. I plan to enjoy them fully, doing as little as possilbe.

the story of my life

Since quitting my job, I've submitted many applications and sent many resumes all over this city. This includes my weekly happy hour bar that was seeking a female bartender. Sure I don't have any real bartending experience, but the ad said "will train right person." I figured I could be that "right person." After all, I might not have bartending experience, but I had plenty of happy hour experience.
Recently I noticed that a female bartender had been hired. Some skinny blonde went and got the job I wanted. Well, it turns out this skinny blonde had something on her resume that I will never have. She was runner-up on America's Next Top Model.
C.T., who is obsessed with reality TV, was with me in New York this past weekend. I took her to happy hour and pointed out the skinny blonde who got my job. She began looking at the new bartender and realized, "that girl looks familiar." It didn't take her long to realize which TV show this girl had been on. Then she began to figure out her name. She narrowed it down to names that start with K. Then she said, I think it is Kayla. I had to swallow any pride I had left and ask the bartender manager, who didn't hire me, the name of his new, skinny blonde bartender. Her name is Kahlen. It was just too close to C.T.'s guess to be coincidence.
This is the story of my life. I lost the bartending job at an average restaurant bar to a model.

cam confession #14

Today I bought a Diet Coke because of the commerical I saw yesterday.

Each year I look forward to the Super Bowl mostly because of the commericals. They are usually funny and original. I can actually remember specific commercials that aired during past Super Bowls. This year I was disappointed. Not only was the game unexciting, but the commercials were too. Not even Jessica Simpson's Pizza Hut commercial was worth watching.

Apparently all those creative commercials I was hoping to see during the Super Bowl were saved for this year's Oscars. I was impressed. Not only was the show interesting, but the commercials were too. Had they given an Oscar for Best Commercial, I would have voted for the Diet Coke commercial. Not the one where the girl is rollerblading around, but the one where the guy and girl end their first date. He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek, then they part. However, the magic of the Diet Coke inspires him to run back and kiss her right. I loved it. It inspired me.

Not only did it inspire me to take risks while dating, it also inspired me to drink more Diet Coke. Shameful, I know.

the writing on the cup

Thursday is my Starbuck's day. I look forward to going each week. It is part of my Thursday ritual. Gym in the morning, class at 1:00, then Starbucks at 2:45. I get my coffee on my way to my babysitting job. It is my treat.
Have you ever noticed the quotes on the side of the Starbuck's cups? Usually I don't pay too much attention to them. Or if I do take the time to read what it says, I don't really find it inspiring. This past week was the exception. I was looking forward to Starbuck's as the highlight of my day. As I was waiting for the kids' bus to arrive, I was bored. So I read the cup.
The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating- in other words, in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.
I knew coffee was good for me...

well I certainly wasn't expecting that

This morning I slept late. I blame the fact that I was snuggled under a pile of blankets, and it was cold outside. When I woke up, I thought I heard it raining outside. In that split second, I decided that if it was raining I wouldn't go to the gym. When I looked out the window, I didn't see rain. Instead I saw snow rushing to the ground. Then I said to myself, "Well I certainly wasn't expecting that."
How had I missed the weather report that it was going to snow? After all, it is March. Shouldn't it be spring weather soon? I start my Spring Break in a week. The only time I want to see snow during a Spring Break is if I am skiing on a mountain.
I'm definitely not going to the gym this morning. In fact, I'm considering crawling back into bed and snuggling under all my warm blankets. If winter is going to drag on, I might as well hibernate.

words of wisdom

I'm of the opinion that knowing someone's job isn't really all that important. Why should we be defined by our work? I'd much rather be known as the sexy girl from Texas whose quirkiness is extremely endearing rather than 'unemployed student'.
The second one is so boring.