cam at 26

I've noticed a few things about myself over the years:
1. I have a lot more confidence.
Perhaps this comes from all the travel/life experience. Or maybe I really have gotten hotter as I've gotten older.
2. I am no longer interested in the bar scene.
The whole idea of meeting someone at a bar is completely superficial. First, any interaction is based solely on looks. Then there is an exchange of what you do, rather than who you are. I've seen many people lose interest in talking with me when I say I'm a teacher. That's not who I am, it's just what I do. I still enjoy going to bars. I just prefer to go with friends and have meaningful conversations.
3. I am a lot more straightforward.
I used to be the kind of person who would avoid confrontation at all cost. But now I don't mind it so much. It allows me to figure things out a whole lot faster. I'm not saying this is always a good thing. Sometimes I miss the intrigue and mystery in situations.
4. I have developed some style.
I've finally learned how to accessorize, do my hair, and dress fashionably. Though I still have guy friends who do all of these things better than me.
5. I am too damn responsible.
Gone is the mentality, do what feels good. Instead, I've learned to rationally think through situations and objectively make good decisions. Though I'm pretty sure all this responsibile thinking will be suspended when I get to Cancun. What happens in Cancun, stays in Cancun.
6. I am less idealistic than I once was.
I'm not going to go as far as to say I'm jaded or pessimistic. But I would say that I have lost the hopeful, optimism that was once an integral part of my character.
7. My biggest fear is 'settling'.
I'm still afraid of heights and large crowds of people. But additionally, I'm afraid of settling for less just because it is more convenient. On the flip side, I worry that I may never truly be happy because I'll always be looking for adventure.
8. Overachieving has long been a part of my life.
I have a love-hate relationship with my need to overachieve. It has pushed me to set goals and accomplish those goals. But at the same time, it has caused anxiety and negative feelings of self-worth .
9. I love my friends.
Whether it be people from my past or people in my present, each person has played a significant role in my life. And for that, I am thankful. This feeling is what often prompts me to say "I love (fill in the blank)." Because I do. And I think people aren't told that enough. Of course, it gets tricky when I start trying to tell the guys in my life that I love them. Because, well, you know...
10. When I drink, I am more verbose.
Many things that I have said while under the influence, I would have said sober. However, after drinking there are a lot less barriers that separate me from the words. Hence this post.
11. I must accept disappointment as a part of life.
I was going to only have 10, but then I realized I had one more. Maybe it has been the disappointing situations in my life, that have led to the loss of my idealism. But more importantly, disappointment has taught me that I can't always be in control. It has taught me that while I might not like things the way they are now, it won't always feel this way. It has taught me that I just keep going.