one day at a time
I had hoped to have my girlfriends to get me through this break up. Yet, the weekend is here and I have no plans. I can't help but wonder how it is that I have no one. Two of my best friends I met here in the city have since moved away. Other friends just happen to be out of town. And others I guess just don't realize how much I needed them. I guess I shouldn't expect people just to adjust their lives just because my life feels like it fell apart.
This isn't to say I don't have good friends. Many of them, despite the physical distance, have been supportive. They're available to chat on the phone. They offer a sympathetic ear and give me validation that I deserve more.
But it's hard being alone when I normally would have been with him. I want to be with people who will distract me from my loneliness. Last night I went out with some of my guy friends. It was a good distraction. But while they ask me if I want to talk about the break-up, it's clear they're pretty uncomfortable when I start to share my feelings. It's also weird when it seems they might be flirting with me. I just broke up with my boyfriend.
And so I am just trying to survive this break up one day at a time. The best that I can.