great expectations

One of the first things I was taught in my formal training to become a great teacher is 'have high expectations'. In fact, I've participated in a series of trainings called Teacher Expectation, Student Achievement. So I know a lot about expectations. I've also learned to effectively convey these expectations to my students. I wish I could say I've experienced 100% success. But I still have students who tell me they can't do it. Or look at me with blank stares when I ask for their homework. Or flat out tell me that they can't control themselves. I believe my students have expectations for me as their teacher. They expect me to know what is going on (and sadly, I often disappoint them). They expect me to hug them and comfort them. In addition to being their teacher, I am expected to be a parent, counselor, and friend.
I think having expectations for others is natural. But it is also what can cause disappointment and hurt feelings. I expect people in my life to call, email, check on me, invite me to dinner, ask about my day, want my time. Basically, I want the people that I care about to reciprocate the feeling through actions. Sometimes I wonder if I should lower my expectations so that my feelings are less likely to be hurt. And then I wonder why I expect these things of my friends and family that I am not consistently doing. Because believe it or not, I do realize it's not all about me. And it all becomes very complicated and confusing. I have to admit that sometimes I like to stop expecting anything at all. Because then when people do what I am still secretly hoping they will do, then I am happy. And therein lies the problem. I still have the expectation, I just try to trick myself. And if I'm no longer being upfront with others or myself, then I'm still going to end up disappointing myself. And I really don't like to be the cause of my own unhappiness.
So, I think I'll continue to have expectations in my relationships with others. I just hope I can learn to effectively let people know: "Hey, this is what I am expecting from you." And I hope that I'll live up to the expectations in my own too-often-selfish life.