best evite ever

One of my best friends, Scarlett Morrow, sent the following invitation to her annual Oscar party.

INCREDIBLES,

I should have sent this YESTERDAY, but AUTISM IS A WORLD I live in, so I didn’t get around to it . . .

As we come CLOSER to Spring, the Oscars provide a RAY of ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND during the cold bleak of winter. EVERYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY MUST come to a standstill on Oscar night!

This event has been SISTER ROSE’S PASSION (as well as I, ROBOT’s) for the past 5 years. To celebrate such please dress in your Oscar best as the event will be formal (those sporting jeans will be allowed in, but perhaps looked at SIDEWAYS)

So as to avoid LEMONY SNICKET’S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS here are the directions for FINDING NEVERLAND at the HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS located at Shady Brook Lane in THE VILLAGE.

There is a gate, but no code so SEA INSIDE and SHARK TALE someone else in or call me and I’ll go let you in.

The party will start twelve hours after 7:35 IN THE MORNING, but not BEFORE SUNSET.

AS IT IS IN HEAVEN, and by a TWIST OF FAITH, I go to church on Sunday night. So as not to further contribute to my spiritual DOWNFALL, I will attend church, hear the CHORUS, listen to the PASSION OF THE CHRIST (told through the STORY OF THE WEEPING CAMEL), learn of the lesser known resurrection - TUPAC: RESURRECTION, and race home for the ceremony.

Never fear! I will tape the first thirty minutes of the show for us to watch during commercials or at the end of the ceremony.

There will be no COLLATERAL necessary for admission, but please let me know if you plan to join us! I need to know if I need to spend a MILLION DOLLAR BABY and GOPHER BROKE on snacks, but not have too many leftovers so as to SUPER SIZE ME!

Because the show is A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT, please feel free to consider my place (while lacking in HARDWOOD floors) your HOTEL RWANDA if you’re from out of town and used an AVIATOR, the POLAR EXPRESS, rode the MOTORCYCLE DIARIES, had TWO CARS, ONE NIGHT, and/or endured MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN’S MARCH to get here.

Please feel free to invite LORENZO, RYAN, TROY, VERA DRAKE, the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, BIRTHDAY BOYs, KINSEY, HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN, WASPs, and SPIDERMAN 2. Oh yeah, and SHREK 2!

I may have left CHILDREN OF LENINGRADSKY off the list, so please extend this invite to others, but leave any LITTLE TERRORISTs who were BORN INTO BROTHELS at home.