cam's relationship rant

Tonight at dinner a discussion which seemed more like an argument began regarding dating. Two of my friends believe that guys have become lazy when it comes to dating. They argued that too often guys just hang out with girls until the girl says "I like you, let's go out". The two guys at the table argued back that it is an egalitarian system. Whoever realizes there is an attraction first, should be the one to initiate something more. They said that girls need to be direct about their feelings rather than using subtle hints. I agree with them.
It was an interesting discussion. Though I wasn't really participating. Mostly because I agreed with both sides of the arguments. I think girls should be more direct. Girls shouldn't just wait back hoping a guy will talk to them, ask for their telephone number, then ask them out, etc. If he isn't getting it and you really are interested, then sometimes you have to decide to take a chance. But I also agree that guys should quit bitching about their dating situations when they aren't doing anything to ask girls out. Guys are never going to have a date if they don't take action. At least let her know that you are interested. Girls are much more likely to respond if they think they have a chance to win the gamble. Because really, it is all a game of risk. And it sucks when you lose, but it is great when you win.
Being direct can be good, but the flirtation and uncertainty can be exciting also. But when you are ready to figure out what is going on, you can use the following:
dear____________,
i've really enjoyed hanging out with you more and more lately. i don't want to mess up our friendship, but i also think you are a really great guy (or girl). to say it straight, i'd be interested in seeing if this friendship develops into more. but if that's not where you are, let me know. it will save us a lot of trouble and complication.
I can't guarantee that you won't mess up the friendship. Or that you will get the relationship will work out like you hoped. But it is honest and direct. I don't know if it should be the guy or the girl who starts the relationship (or ends the relationship). I don't really care as long as from start to end it is honest and open without questions unanswered.
And if it is someone you don't know, then take a risk. Because really, you've got nothing to lose. Unless you are sitting at a blackjack table so that you can flirt with someone. Then you really can lose...