you can't always get what you want

I took the day off from work today because I wanted to sleep in and hopefully begin to feel rested. Instead I woke up with a sore throat, a headache, and a lot of stress caused by my dreams.

I wanted to have all my packing done so that this move will go smoothly. From where I sit now, it doesn't look like anything has been packed.

In contrast to the cynicism of the Garden State quote, I wanted to reflect about the possibility that I did create a new home for myself. And now I am emotionally preparing to leave it. Unfortunately, I gave the impression that I am dreading moving home. This isn't the case at all. I love my family. In fact, I like my family. Which some people can't say. I've just always been very independent. I think it would be acceptable for me to say that I have created a new home if I had a husband and children who lived there with me. I guess I just feel like home is the place where you experience life.

Since the start of the year I've been faced with making decisions and choices, and I wanted to believe that these choices and decisions wouldn't affect others. But I have to accept the fact that my actions do have consequences and sometimes not just for me. I love the people in my life. But sometimes I can be selfish. I start to think it's all about me. And I start to think that I can choose what is best for me. I read a book last year called "The Secret Life of Bees". I don't necessarily recommend this book unless you are just bored. But there was a quote in there that struck me as I read it.
"The problem is they know what matters, but they don't choose it. The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters."
I know what matters. And I want to start choosing what matters. Because unfortunately it isn't just about the now. It is going to affect the later.

I might not always get what I want, and that's okay.