A074

Yesterday I had to go to the driver's license office to replace the one I lost in the Bangkok taxi. I only thought calling long distance to cancel my lost credit card was a pain in the ass. It was nothing compared to yesterday's experience.
I arrived in the afternoon, hoping to have missed the lunch crowd. I stood in the first line waiting to explain my reason for being there. After telling the very tan woman with very long, bright pink fingernails that I needed to replace my lost license, she handed me a form to fill out and instructed me to return for a number after it was completed. So I quickly filled out the form, then returned for my number. I was given A074. As I sat down, the automated voice called for A007. This was going to be a very long wait.
I had anticipated a wait time. So I brought along Som Lek, my very small, orange MP3 player. I found myself turning the volume higher and higher in an effort to drown out the automated voice calling numbers. And so I sat, listening to my music, waiting for my number to be called.
Now the first hour of my wait wasn't too painful. But as the clocked clicked into the second hour I found myself growing restless. My number still seemed far away. I grew more anxious as the automated voice switched from calling A numbers to B and E numbers. WHY? I couldn't figure out this system of having 3 sets of numbers. Or the system of having 14 counters, but only using half of them. By this point, I was growing as impatient as the squirmy kid next to me.
Slowly the voice returned to the As. Nearly there for two hours, I began putting away Som Lek as I heard A072 called. A073, then finally it was my turn. I proceeded to counter 8, passing empty counters 1, 2 and 3.
I explained that I had lost my license and needed a new one. Of course, this request couldn't have been simply processed. No, it had to be complicated.
DL lady: Did you receive a letter from the State?
me: Yes.
DL lady: Did you return the packet to the Medical Advisory Board?
me: I didn't get a packet? I have been to the doctor and everything is coming back normal.
DL lady: I'm going to have to call the MAB to find out if I can issue you a license.
And so I wait at the counter for another 10 minutes or so while DL lady disappears to make her phone call.
DL lady: I spoke with the MAB, and they say they sent the packet right after the letter you receieved.
me: Well, I never got it.
DL lady: Okay, well they are going to send it again. If you don't return it they will suspend your license.
In the meantime I'm wondering, "Does this mean you can issue it to me? I really only need it for one month because then I'm moving to NYC and I don't plan on driving."
DL lady: They told me I could issue you your license. Please sign on the line. Now step back for your picture.
What? I have to take a picture? I just took one when I renewed my license in April. In fact, it was a really cute picture. I wasn't prepared for a picture. If I had known I would need to take a picture, I might have actually done more with my hair. Maybe even put on some lipstick.
When I was finally finished with the whole process, I exited past more empty counters, through the crowds of people who had probably noticed that I had been back at the counter much too long, adding to their growing frustration. Then I got in my car and legally drove home.