Monday, April 23, 2007

missing the pockets but not the coat

It's finally spring. As recently as last week, I was wearing long pants, a sweater and my winter coat. New York was flooded with rain at the beginning of the week. Coupled with the still cold weather, it was pretty miserable and depressing. Then on Friday, I walked to work carrying my fleece jacket in my hand. It was a sunny, warm day. Luckily this good weather continued throughout the weekend when I could actually enjoy it. Like other New Yorkers, I felt the cold depression of winter might actually fade away.
My roommate and I went shopping on Saturday, and while she was at work I continued walking around outside. Saturday night we went out to a place with a terrace. Not only was it a nice change to be outside, but also not holding a bulky coat the whole time. We weren't the only ones who went out with the intention of being outside. The terrace was packed with people ready to enjoy the warm Spring weather.
Sunday was spent laying out at the Great Lawn in Central Park. Which means when I wore my skirt and short sleeves to work today, I had a nice tan to show off.
I do not miss wearing my winter coat. But I do miss the pockets. I usually kept my subway metro card and work ID in the pocket for easy access. Now I have to pull out my wallet to retrieve the needed card. But I'm not complaining.
I can't wait to wear a skirt and sandals to work again tomorrow!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

and I'm also Carrie

Last night I was watching another re-run of Sex and the City. Carrie's dating Big and thinks the relationship is great... only to find out he's still seeing other people. He can't understand what she is so upset about. Then she explains to him that she's done the merry-go-round, the revolving door. She is looking for someone to just stand still with her. Standing in a park in New York City at 3am, she asks Mr. Big if he wants to "stand still" with her.
That's how I feel. My dating life in New York has very much been a merry-go-round. I have actually been thinking about this exact metaphor for the past few weeks. So why do I keep meeting guys who aren't ready to stand still with me? Maybe (to continue this metaphor) it is because I don't want to be standing alone. I'd rather have the merry-go-round, than find myself standing alone.
Cue the music for another time around...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

it's just not right

It snowed here on Easter. There we were enjoying our Easter brunch at my roommate's sister's upper eastside apartment. We look out the window and what do we see? Well, a half naked man- the bottom half- standing at his window smoking a cigarette. But also snow. On Easter.
On the bus ride home the door opened and snow flurries swirled around us. My roommate says "It's snowing in the bus." My response, "It's just not right."
Easter should equal spring. And spring does not equal snow.
Apparently New York wasn't the only place getting snow on Easter. It snowed in Texas, too. Now that really isn't right.
Of course, neither is the "ugly, naked guy" who lives across the way from my roommate's sister and who rather enjoyed the fact we were all staring in horror.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

accepting my inner charlotte

I turned 28 this week. Another year older and inevitably I've faced a period of reflection in my life. At 18, my future looked very different from my reality now. If my 18 year old self met my 28 year old self, the two would have very little in common. What happened to the girl who planned to be married and start a family by age 26 or 26?
I opened myself up to all the possibilities life has to offer. I learned to take risks and abandon regrets. I discovered a passion for experiencing new things and stepping beyond what is comfortable and familiar. I uncovered a confidence that has allowed me to do all of these things.
And so, at 28 I am a single woman living in New York City. As the women of Sex and the City taught us, you can be single and fabulous as long as you have good friends. The past year and half in the city, I've tapped into a Samantha side I never knew I had. I've realized that there are lots of interesting men in this city. I can date them, but I don't need them to make me happy or complete me. I maintain my independence.
My approach to the New York dating scene has lacked the cynicism of Miranda, but fostered the reflectiveness of Carrie. With each guy I meet and date, I find myself wondering what I really want. Is there some remaining trace of my 18 year old self? Some part of me that wants to eventually get married and start my own family?
I don't know the answer. I do know that lately I've been wanting a relationship to last longer than a month or two. I'm disappointed my relationship with the last guy ended. I really liked him, and I thought I might actually get a break from the dating scene. Instead, I'm back out there looking for a guy who realizes I am pretty fabulous. As Charlotte said, "I'm exhausted. Where is he?"

Sunday, April 01, 2007

never a bride, finally a bridesmaid

Many women my age often find themselves living proof of the saying "always a bridesmaid, never a bride." Not me. I've only been a bridesmaid once and that was at least 10 years ago. For whatever reason, very few of my close friends are married. The last two weddings I attended were actually friends of my sister. It's my sister who has a rainbow of bridesmaid gowns hanging in her closet. Last year she attended at least 8 weddings. As she watched many of her friends walked down the aisle, she wondered if she might be "always a bridesmaid, never a bride."
Last Friday, she got her answer as she answered his question. In December, my sister- my younger sister- will walk down the aisle in her one of a kind white dress. She will finally be the bride. And because I am her sister, I will finally be a bridesmaid. In fact, I will be her maid of honor. I will have the important task of tending to my sister's needs. And even more importantly, planning the bachelorette party. Vegas, baby!
I'm excited for my sister and my soon to be brother-in-law. It's going to be a crazy road to the altar. For the first time, I almost wish I lived in Texas so I could be more involved in it all. Almost...